Geri Halliwell

The artist-formerly-known-as-Ginger Spice's self promotion bandwagon continues its headlong passage into the public consciousness.
After the world domination of the Spice Girls, Ginger's departure and the flowering of Geri Halliwell as a solo artist what possible reason could there be for a 29 year old girl to write her autobiography, 'If only'? Well, if you are looking for the real reason she left the Spices, forget it. It is glossed over as 'our ambitions were going in different directions'. However, if you are looking for the reason why she is as neurotic as she is then the book shows it amply. A rebellious teenager from lowly educated parents, an emotionally absent father and an unchannelled enthusiasm and energy all combined to produce an inbuilt insecurity and desperate need for attention.
Since leaving school Geri has drifted from attention seeking job to attention seeking job. Always enough to keep the wolf from the door but never enough to satisfy the global acceptance that she craves. Even her success with the Spice Girls was tempered with an innate sense that 'she would be found out' very soon.
Her entire adult life has been blighted by her continuing fight against bulimia as witnessed by her yo-yo-ing weight over the years. Geri explains food's impact on her life by the way, as a child, 'it was used as a comfort, bribe or punishment' and her mother's advice that 'you have to suffer to be beautiful'.
Her father was in his 50's and effectively disabled with 'a dodgy hip and bad asthma' when she was born. A dreamer, her mother said, he had no drive or ambition and spent his days tinkering with old cars in the garage while his wife cleaned the local library to put food on the table. Is it any wonder the young Geri retreated into a child-like fantasy world?
In 'If Only' Geri doesn't pull any punches, the warts and all are related in all their glory. Halfway through the book you start to get the impression that you have intruded on a therapy session. Geri admits at the end that writing it has been cathartic. One thing that did strike me was the very readability of the tome. No ghost writer is credited and something about the writing is very direct and personal. So one has to assume that it is Geri's work and Geri's work alone. In which case, the lady could make a good living as a novelist if she tried. Perhaps that is another area that she could try to find that elusive high of approbation.
'If Only' is a roller coaster ride of the emotions, neuroses and disappointments of a wannabee who finally makes it to the top of the ladder but still wants/needs more rungs to climb. Geri Halliwell will never be satisfied with what she has achieved and that is a shame for she will never find contentment or fulfillment.

'If Only' by Geri Halliwell Bantam Press £14.99
First published on Gay UK Net
© Paul Towers 4/10/2000